Terry's Chocolate Orange White Chocolate Confection
Filed Under: Food, Gifts (<- this functionality is pending, but it'll be cool when it's there!)
by Jase Luttrell
Posted: 20 December 2006
After two years of searching four continents for an elusive product that had disappeared into the ether, we finally found delicious, affordable white chocolate, fashioned in an aggressively fun-to-eat way. This is a review of Terry's White Chocolate Orange, otherwise known as "edible romance".
Back in 2001 I had the good fortune of trying a Terry's Chocolate Orange Snowball, a good sized hunk of white chocolate flavoured with real orange oil, shaped like an orange, and arranged in citrus-like segments. Words cannot express my gratitude for this experience. For me, white chocolate is comparable to finding Jesus, winning an award, or graduating from university. Normally, white chocolate is very expensive, at least for high-quality stuff. The Snowball was only around US$3 [?] at the time, and by some grace of god, they were on sale just before Christmas for US$.50 [?]. Unfortunately, after the holiday season and this remarkable sale, the stores stopped stocking the specialty chocolates, and I never saw them again.
In November of 2005 I was reminded of the impeccable greatness of this white stuff, and I set out on a quest to find the Snowball once again. I called my parents in Colorado to have them keep their eyes out for them. I called a friend in Canada. I e-mailed Mandy to have her look for them. In turn, she talked to her friends in the UK, where the manufacturing company is located, to enlist their help. Other friends took up my cause, motivated by my ecstatic accolades. After calling Kraft Foods in Australia (the company that distributes the chocolates), we found out that the factory in York, UK closed down, and production was moved to Poland. So, I called Poland. Unable to speak Polish and find an English speaker, I gave up. We called Australia one last time and were informed that though our exhaustive search showed intense, genuine interest in the confection, there was not enough interest in the Snowball, and the item had been discontinued. I felt like I had lost a child I actually loved. In short, I was devastated.
In November this year I was walking through a grocery store and a bin of holiday items stood in my way to the escalators for the second floor. A quick glance in this bin reaffirmed my faith in mankind: my lost child, the one I loved, returned to me, with several friends, too. The bin was overflowing with Terry's chocolate oranges, mint oranges, almond oranges, toffee oranges, and of course, my one true love: the white chocolate orange. Though it is no longer called the Snowball, a white ball of chocolate by any other name would taste just as sweet, especially for the price.
I instantly bought a few, for myself, and my friends who helped me on my earlier quest. In one day, I devoured an entire orange. The next day I had another. Realising these actions are bad for my health, I took a break for one day. Then I ran to the store and bought two more. A week after seeing the white chocolate oranges in the store, I've gorged myself on three of them. At one point, there was so much sugar in my bloodstream I thought I was going into a sugar coma. All I could do was sleep off the sugar. When I woke, I had some more. That's how much I love these things.
Not only do they whet my appetite for delicious white chocolate, but they make me feel as if I'm getting some vitamins (because of the orange oil, even though the nutritional value is slim to nil). More importantly, they release a lot of stress. Naturally, food relieves a lot of stress for me (and many an overweight American as well). However, to enjoy a Terry's Chocolate Orange White Chocolate Confection (Snowball really is easier to say) properly, you must take the chocolate out of the box, leaving it wrapped in foil. Then, you grab it firmly in your hand and smack the damn thing on a table, countertop, or skull as hard as you can. Then you can unwrap the foil, and prepare to feel good about yourself. The whacking action, made famous by the advertising phrase "whack and unwrap", separates the orange segments so they are easier to eat, and eliminates the pain of a tough workday. If you're impatient like me, there have been times where I skip whacking the chocolate, and I bit into it like a glorious, snowy apple.
For my sake, Kraft's sake, Terry's sake, and anyone else who enjoys white chocolate: purchase this item, if you can find it. Personally, I really don't want to track down these chocolates in another year, I'd much rather have them fresh and available for me. The only way that will happen is if everyone reading this goes out to his or her supermarket and buys one. For the cheap price, this is pretty good quality white chocolate that is fun to eat.